John madden gay

Added: Arrington Oshaughnessy - Date: 27.03.2022 01:03 - Views: 31281 - Clicks: 5645

Now what we're seeing here is an article that you're reading, which is an act that you only can do while reading with your eyeswhich isn't like reading with your hands. If you read with your hands, you're not really reading because reading requires the use of your eyes which aren't on your hands because they're your hands, that is unless you're blind and have some kind of newflangled brailler attachment, in which case you WOULD be reading with your hands instead of your eyes. Anyway, here you are reading this article that's being read with your eyes and not your hands, and it's about John Madden.

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Now this John Madden guy, he's not like other guys, because if he was he'd be them, which isn't what he is because he's him, he's John Madden. If he was another guy, then he'd be Tony Siragusa, or Troy Aikmanwho re with his hands and talks with his ass which is on his neck which acts like a face which it's not because he's not John Madden. What you have here is Estelle Parsons and Fran Tarkenton, and they're getting it on like nobody's business, and here you've got coitus which is the same as intercourse happening.

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And you've got Franny there pushing for a forward pass and Estelle Parsons pulling her defensive lineman, letting Fran's linebackers get past. Now that's just unacceptable behavior by defensive linemen, because their primary job is defense.

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Let's see if they can stop the backs before they accomplish a touchdownwhich would be good for the scoring team because that means they score. That's not good for the others because they're not scoring because the other team is scoring a touchdown, which scores them points. Season's over, this fine game ending what is the finest of all fine games, and the season, which is over. Nine months go by and no action in the endzone, none at all, which is a shame, because it means there's no football.

Finest game around, you'd be hard pressed to find a finer game. Finding a finer game, in fact, would be harder than Estelle Parsons is pushing to get this baby out! Where'd that baby come from? Hey, that kid looks like a football! So, in lifeJohn Madden, this guy, he's scared which means fearful of something that makes you afraid of flyingmostly because of the sexual assault committed by him.

You see, when a man loves a woman very much, he gets a bonerwhich he then needs to get rid of by having sex, which is why Fran Tarkenton and Estelle Parsons had to have John Madden so he has to return the favor. So anyway, prominent in his fear of flying is when he got a boner on this airplane, right, and he tried to take it out on this stewardess, and she said no and he didn't stop even though no is not an affirmative which is something that means yes which is the opposite of no which is John madden gay yes. He was arrested which is like being taken into police custody except with handcuffs.

So, if you're scared, you get fearful of stuff, which you can't do in John madden gay, because if you get scared in football then you're afraid which loses games.

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But being afraid is OK if you love football because if you love football and football loves you and you've also had sex with a telestrator like I have then you want to be around for as much football as possible. Therefore, John Madden is afraid of flying. Now this John Madden guy, well, he's a homosexual, which is like being the opposite of heterosexual, which is homosexual, which is also gay.

Now, there's this guy named John madden gay Favrewho's the greatest quarterback in football, which is the greatest game in the world, and John Madden has a crush on him, which is like being in love except that Brett Favre may not love John Madden back and instead kick him in the testicles for trying to be gay. But fortunately, he does like John Madden, and these two are wanting to get it on like nothing else, like that time when Fran Tarkenton and John madden gay Parsons got it on to have John Madden.

Yeah, so this one time John Madden was highwhich is like stoned except stones are rocks and John Madden was high, not rocks. So here's John Madden who's in a bus and not a plane because he had a boner and his parents had sex and football needed to be seen see aboveso he's on this bus and decides he needs more money.

Usually, you see, when you're on drugsyou can't think straightbecause you think crooked when you're on drugs which means you're thinking not straight which is not thinking straight. That's why they're bad for football, because if you don't think straight you don't throw the ball straight but you're not thinking straight so you think you're throwing the ball straight.

So Madden, John Madden, was thinking crooked and John madden gay straight and in this wayward state he decided he knew how to program video games. Thus, on the back of a vomit soaked napkin on the head of his multi-colored velvet seat cushion, Madden was born. The code looks something like this:. Using the ace in his sleeve and the "gun" in his pocket he convinced Brett Favre to endorse it which is like advertising except the same because it is. With his money, which is cash except more valuable because it's in any currency which is types of cash which is not as good as money because Tony Siragusa re with his hands, John Madden had the script cleaned up so that it made sense.

Each year, he repackages it and releases it under a new name and he makes more money than Tony Siragusa! In the instructions for Maddenthe following is written:. In this game, which is a game about playing a game of football, which is the best game in the world, you have to win. To win, you have to score points, especially if you're losing.

If you're losing you're going to have to score points to win. If you don't score, you're not going to win, which means you're going to lose, which means that you have to score points! Now you're probably wanting to go play the game now, and I'm just going to tell that if you're playing the game, then you should play and not whine about playing, because if you're a player then you should be playing.

Being a good player is not enough, either. What you got here is great players playing a great game; You could find some players on the street, and they'd probably play a good game; but what you got here is great players playing a great game. And that's why I'm glad you bought the game. John Madden, this guy John Madden who we've been talking about for so long, well, this John Madden guy is deadwhich is like being alive except the opposite which is dead which means you're not alive. Even though he had AIDS the bad kind, not the good kind that help you, which are aides which are like assistants except not AIDS that he got from a telestrator, herpes which is like crabs except crabs are sea animals and herpes isn't from Brett Favreand severe brain damage from all of the drugs which are like bombs for your brainwhat ultimately killed this John Madden guy was eating lard while reading with his hands.

Now, this guy, this John Madden, he loved lard, which was like his anti-drug, which is when you like something more than drugs but still don't mind doing drugs occasionally to get high which is not at all like being low. So anyway, he was eating his anti-drug and reading the code for Madden with his hands which are not where you're supposed to read because reading is what your eyes do when they're not hands.

Concentrating all of his energy on reading with his hands, he didn't realize when he started to choke, which is like when you can't breathe except with stuff in your breathing hole which is called a throat which was clogged with lard. He asphyxiated, which is a fancy word for choked which is when you can't breathe because you're reading with your hands, and he is buried under Brett Favre 's bed, which is a place where you can sleep on or have sex which is what Fran Tarkenton and Estelle Parsons had to have John Madden who is now dead.

John madden gay Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia. You may be looking for Captain Obvious and not even know it! John Madden is my name, you see. It could be about someone else named John Madden, but this time it's about me, John Madden.

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This makes them good blockers. John Madden Isn't he that film director who made this shitty film "Shakespeare in Love"? Simpson - Daniel Snyder - Brian Urlacher. : American television personalities National Football League announcers Articles about a person written in the style of that person.

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John madden gay

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Silver Minings: John Madden receives honorary doctor of science degree